Friday, May 14, 2010

Scale minus

I worked out yesterday and I was dripping sweat. I was loving it! I feel great today, because I worked out yesterday. If the scales didn't exist in this world, I would of said this morning, "I lost 5 pounds!" I probably would of gone to Walmart, because, for sure, there is a piece of clothes there that would fit me with a tag Size: Small. I probably would of spent some time on the computer looking for a swim suite (maybe even two piece). Who knows, maybe I'd be brave enough to go into my closet, open of the dusty clothes boxes and try on something safe like a vest. (I do not want to embarrass myself trying to fit my butt into size 6 jeans - I'll wait till the end of the week).

I am feeling great! Looking at my reflection in the mirror I am deciding to try my summer makeup - my special occasion shimmering face powder and shadow kit called "Celebrity". I will also let my hair down, because I feel like it. I am thinner than I was yesterday!

I might even wash my car. I know mini-vans don't look as hot as an open top convertible, but when washed will definitely look more attractive next another unwashed van on the parking lot. This is my present to you, my car! Enjoy it and don't spend it all at once - consider it your birthday gift.

Kids will be allowed to stay up for an extra 30 minutes. Forget that - If I want to loose more weight, I need to workout and the earlier the better. OK, kids will be allowed to watch TV while eating dinner and 5 extra minutes of play in the bathtub.

BUT SCALES SIT IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR WITH A STUPID SMILE ON ITS WHATEVER! Scales do exist! That means, I didn't loose 5 pounds. I do not feel as good any more. I am looking at my pimple in the mirror while braiding my hair. It's another day and I have to get ready to work. Still have 10 minutes left - just enough to load a dishwasher.

Look in the mirror
Open makeup bag

F.. it! OK, Maybe it's only 3 pounds.

I get very close to the scales. By "accident" the towel falls over it and I push it still covered with my foot under the bathtub.


Maybe it is only 3 pounds. Where is my celebrity shadow kit?

Dear scales,

I am aware you exist,
but I will ignore you for a long time,
because that will make me a happier person

Good luck and f... you!


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