Detox Day 3

I am hungry for meat. I felt good for a couple days, but now caught myself fantasizing about a hot dog (for eating purposes, of course). Oh, yeah, my hungry mind just was placing an order for pizza for Sunday delivery. I planned it to start on Sunday and stop on Saturday, so I can enjoy a nice meal at home rather than at work. I already had a couple people argue with me comparing their favorite diets to my detox. I normally do not participate in diet discussions. I have my own opinion and unless asked will not be advising anybody else what to eat. I believe that any kind of diet is a stress on a body and stress is what switched the body into the storage mode, meaning "I need to put all the food received into the fat storage, because it's a famine". That's why I will not diet and I will not starve. Anything that involves me skipping meals goes out the window. anything that comes with a fancy book of complicated recipes can go in the same direction. Any company that is selling me food replacement program is in business to make money and is interested in me staying on their program for as long as I live and not in making me happier healthier person.

That's my program and I am following low glycemic style, which pretty much includes well balanced diet and limits amounts of sugars.

Oh, yeah, there is a food delivery company that does that. It's Nutri-System. Right? Wrong! It's very far away from big perfect low-glycemic system and in a nutshell just a food delivery system if you want to eat, but don't want to cook.

Detox is a kind of diet and that's why it should not be done more than 4 times a year for week. I personally prefer to do it 2x year. It is not about losing weight (but could always be a side benefit). It is about cleansing by getting toxins out of the body. That's where a lot of waters come handy along with food that gets processed really fast. It is not easy and I do not recommend people on doing it without some preparation. Do not do it if you are under a lot of stress or training for a marathon.

Do not do it if you're setting yourself up for a failure.

Just a refresher

V Step 1 Consume at least 80 oz of water a day
V Step 2 Start eating right
V Step 3 Start supplementation
V Step 4 Start Working out
V Step 5 Start Yoga
V Step 6 7 days detox
Step 7 Start biking (Really have to figure out how that is going to work)
Step 8 Keep a good work

Reward #1 at 30 days WII Yoga

Measurements
Day #.....weight..BMI..breast..waste..hips

Day 1.....209
Day 27....207.5.........41......41.....52
Day 61
Day 90

Detox - Oh, no!!!

This probably is one of the challenging parts of the program, but I have to say, almost every step has been quite a challenge for me. Detox is not about weight loss, but about cleansing. The idea is to stop eating carbs for a week along with caffeine along with with protein. Fine, this week is all about vegetables in some fruits and a lot of liquids. No fancy dressings, no coffee. It is pretty much all day long veggie buffet with a river of water and a lots of trips to the washroom. The only dressing allowed is vinegar or lemon juice. My second day (yes, today is actually is day 2) looks like this

morning 1/2 lemon with water
breakfast salad
snack carrots, banana
lunch funny dish I made yesterday consists of fried (is it? There was no oil involved) cabbage, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms
snack - salad, banana
dinner salad, soup
snack fruits

On the good note, it is "all you can eat"

Scale minus

I worked out yesterday and I was dripping sweat. I was loving it! I feel great today, because I worked out yesterday. If the scales didn't exist in this world, I would of said this morning, "I lost 5 pounds!" I probably would of gone to Walmart, because, for sure, there is a piece of clothes there that would fit me with a tag Size: Small. I probably would of spent some time on the computer looking for a swim suite (maybe even two piece). Who knows, maybe I'd be brave enough to go into my closet, open of the dusty clothes boxes and try on something safe like a vest. (I do not want to embarrass myself trying to fit my butt into size 6 jeans - I'll wait till the end of the week).

I am feeling great! Looking at my reflection in the mirror I am deciding to try my summer makeup - my special occasion shimmering face powder and shadow kit called "Celebrity". I will also let my hair down, because I feel like it. I am thinner than I was yesterday!

I might even wash my car. I know mini-vans don't look as hot as an open top convertible, but when washed will definitely look more attractive next another unwashed van on the parking lot. This is my present to you, my car! Enjoy it and don't spend it all at once - consider it your birthday gift.

Kids will be allowed to stay up for an extra 30 minutes. Forget that - If I want to loose more weight, I need to workout and the earlier the better. OK, kids will be allowed to watch TV while eating dinner and 5 extra minutes of play in the bathtub.

BUT SCALES SIT IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR WITH A STUPID SMILE ON ITS WHATEVER! Scales do exist! That means, I didn't loose 5 pounds. I do not feel as good any more. I am looking at my pimple in the mirror while braiding my hair. It's another day and I have to get ready to work. Still have 10 minutes left - just enough to load a dishwasher.

...
Look in the mirror
...
Open makeup bag
...

F.. it! OK, Maybe it's only 3 pounds.

I get very close to the scales. By "accident" the towel falls over it and I push it still covered with my foot under the bathtub.

HA!

Maybe it is only 3 pounds. Where is my celebrity shadow kit?


Dear scales,

I am aware you exist,
but I will ignore you for a long time,
because that will make me a happier person

Good luck and f... you!

Sincerely,
Lena

Let's talk Yoga

So, I have never done yoga and decided that it is time to start, because I need some "It's good for you" in my life.

I can't go to the Yoga class, because, let's face it, I can't take kids with me. I can't ask my mother-in-law to babysit, because that's what she does 9 hours a day anyway and probably wants to do something else in her spare time. Also I can't rely on my husband, because he always has things to do and when he is home for dinner it is a nice surprise. One time last year, I had to go to the association board meeting. At 9 pm I found my baby sleeping, my husband exhausted browsing Internet, my husband shirt covered in puke in the sink in the kitchen. The older child was playing in her room. When I said, Elise, let's go to sleep, she ran to the kitchen, because daddy didn't feed her dinner. Overall, any time I suggest I need him to take care of kids, he wants to take them to his mom's house and, as I said before, she probably wants to read a grownup book and watch something besides Elmo and Barney on TV once in a while.

So, what should I do first? Since I already have WII I decided to spoil myself with a game called Wii Yoga, because the little person on the screen will show me what to do and will tell me if I am doing it wrong (thanks to the power of Wii remote). The reviews were not all that great, but since there were no other alternatives I decided to go for it and let me tell you, I still don't know what to do.

The little cartoonish characters gave me an endless tour of the House of Yoga. When I went into the routine mode, it gave me several options - "Obesity" sounded like a fun one and I went into the next screen where I was welcomed by another cartoon character with a thick accent. The whole routine took 5 minutes and came back to the message "I'd like to try to do it now". OK, I am pretty new to this, but I am sure it should take more than 5 minutes. Besides that, it doesn't make any noises when changing a pose, so if I am trying concentrated on not falling down while facing the floor I would not even know when to change the positions. (My neck hearts though from constant attempts to looks up). And the best thing - it has no motion detectors, so it has no idea what I am doing. Do you know what that means? I was better off buying a DVD

I want my pretty back

I was listening a podcast "Parenting Experiment" and they had a interview with Molly Ringwald (remember, Sixteen candles, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink). She wrote a book "Getting the pretty back: Friendship, Family, and Finding the Perfect Lipstick". Honestly I want to read it if I can work it into my schedule, but I do like the title.

Why can't body go back to the way it was after having kids? It would be a nice gift - You got pregnant, went through 99 months (I know it's 9, but feels like much longer) of nothing but inconvenience, got too much of unnecessary attention from random people "Who are you having? a Boy? You do not carry the way the boys a carried. You having a girl. Trust me, my mother blah, blah, blah.." You went through all the enjoyment of delivery and your grand prize was given to you in a form a of little crinkled crying baby that can't live without you and will cry any time he is not happy, which happen to be often. You got up hundreds of time in a dark and walked tripping over dog (toy car? box? don't want to know what it is?) with your arms in front of you, "Must Breastfeed". After sacrificing your social life, sex, romantic things is it too much to ask for the body to go back and give you a fair start. I will be good, but give me something to work with! I adore pictures of me and my little girl. I think, because she looks so tiny and perfect that makes me look even bigger next to her. The pictures I post these days have my body of to my shoulders with kids covering everything else. That's the only way I can get compliments, "You look so good - no worries in your eyes".

Few days ago I was sitting next to my girl while she was pretending to be going on the potty as she pointed at my bingo wing area and announced it, "Boob!"

Great, look who is pointing fingers. By they way, all I want from you is to pee not into your diaper, but into something more appropriate.

Oh, well, not like anybody is listening

Well Well Well

Something weird happened few days ago. My husband brought DQ ice cream for celebrate Mother's Day, and you have to agree motherhood deserves ice cream. It practically has ice cream written all over it. I made myself eat half and that was it. And I didn't enjoy it either. Not sure what that's about - it never bothered me before, but, I guess, it is better that way.

Well. on Saturday I finally opened my WII Yoga. I spent probably 30 minutes watching the tour with a robot looking guide that was walking around the Yoga palace and talking about the history and ideas of Yoga. "this is a picture of blah. It symbolizes blah blah diet, which consists of fat and greasy food that makes you tired and don't eat that. Why would you have a picture or statue of something you don't want people to follow. So, the tour didn't impress me, but I just wanted to get through it, because I though it was somehow related. After 30 minutes I got bored and shut it down. It does come with a book, but obviously I had no time to look through it. Graphics sucks, but that's not the point, because you can't expect everything be realistic looking. Wii fit has such an awesome characters and realism, but it doesn't work. Meaning. it senses everything you do very accurately, but there are no set routines and you just randomly doing things that won't do anything for you. When it comes to yoga and strength exercise, there is no method - you just randomly doing different things in whatever order you want. If I figure out this Yoga thing works and will work for me, I will not care about the quality of the characters.

Wii Active irritated it me, because one particular excersise keeps refusing to understand what I am doing and I end up spending too much time on it with no results. I think it called biceps curls. Yesterday I just started skipping it, because it is getting worse and worse in registering my movements.

Next step would have to be detox. The idea is eliminate carbs, caffeine and preferably protein from the diet for a whole week. The worse part about it is being hungry more and eating more, because all there are no carbs to slow down a process of breaking down food. The general logic is - drink a lot, have some fruit and stuff your face with vegetables. I haven't done this in probably a couple years and I doubt that it would be any easier that it was few years back. I just have to figure out how well it will go in my family, since kids still have to eat normal food.